Siblings Rivalry

Wikipedia the free encyclopedia defined Sibling rivalry as a type of competition or animosity among siblings, whether blood related or not.

It is common for brothers and sisters to fight especially when they are younger and when the age gap is small.  It is also common for them to swing back and forth between adoring and detesting one other.  As kids reach different stages of development, their evolving needs can significantly affect how they relate to one another.

She gets to go to the movies with her friends! How come I can’t go?”

“You love him more than me!”

“I wish I were an only child!”

Parents have heard it all when more than one child resides under their roof. Although siblings can be the closest of friends, it’s rare to find a child who gets along perfectly with all of his or her siblings.

Brothers and sisters fight — it’s just the natural ebb and flow of family life. Different personalities and ages can play a role, but siblings also often see themselves as rivals, competing for an equal share of limited family resources (like the bathroom, telephone, or last piece of cake) and parental attention.

Sibling rivalry is a normal part of growing up, but it can drive parents crazy. The key to minimizing disputes at home? Know when to let your kids work out their problems themselves and when to step in and play referee.


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Sharing a little on this topic from personal experience ……


Indeed sibling rivalry is a normal part of growing up.  My  two children (four years apart) used to ‘hate’ each other until they went to school and being in the same school and having to be together at lunch and to wait for pickup together to and from school, eventually they became ‘best’ friends.


My sister and myself (one year apart) were never close in our childhood.  We lived in a big family home with uncles, aunties, parents, cousins and younger brothers.  We were brought up like an only child because we had an aunt each who loved us as their own.  We never shared our clothes or had any ‘hand me downs’ and we were the only girls in the family at that time before the younger girl cousins were born.  I used to think my mother loved my sister more than me just because she was younger and when we fought, I had to give in to her just because she was younger.  It was not until we were mothers that we became connected and there was nothing at all that was significant that brought us together.  I just believe the saying that ‘blood is thicker than water’ naturally connect us as a family.


So to parents out there experiencing siblings rivalry between their children, I personally do not think there is any big concern at all provided one stay firm as parents and never ever side one child over the other.  Do not make any comparisons and let your children settle their own differences.


That’s one person’s viewpoint.  What are your thoughts on this subject?



The question that’s probably uppermost in the child’s mind is: Why do my parents want to have a baby? Don’t they love me? And if  they love me, why do they need another one? Aren’t I enough? Imagine for a minute yourself in a similar situation. Your husband comes home and says: “Honey I love you so much, I’ve decided to go get another wife so I can have two.” How would you feel?


Lawrence Balter (20th century), U.S. psychologist and author. Dr. Balter’s Child Sense, part 3, ch. 42 (1985).

sibling sibling1 sibling2
photo credits as shown


One thought on “Siblings Rivalry

  1. Pingback: brother and sister relationship,

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