“I love being single. My breakup from that dickhead was the best thing that happened to me !”
I was sitting in a cafe, next table to two women. The talker was colorfully dressed, eyes with shades of blue, holding a cup of coffee showing off finger nails painted in bright red. The listener was dressed simply with an oversized coat of dull grey, scarf around her neck, no makeup.
The colorful lady was doing all the talking, trying to paint a picture what her life was like before and after the breakup. I was supposedly reading a book but very much drawn to listen into the conversation and was eavesdropping if you wish to call me that.
“When we were together, I had no life. He didn’t want to do the things I liked and I had to almost always gave in to what he wanted to do and I lived my life like that for the last ten years. What was the point, to live with someone and not being able to be myself. I was living for him and I must have lost my personality.”
The other lady nodded in agreement and before she could reply, the colorful lady continued.
“When that dickhead left me, I cried my eyes out. I didn’t know what I did wrong. You won’t believe how I pleaded with him to stay but he just didn’t give me a chance. I was too shocked to tell you or anyone.”
She paused for a moment, had a sip of coffee.
“It took me one whole year feeling sorry for myself and then one morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, I still look pretty cool, except for that sad eyes so I decided to polish my image, changed my wardrobe, made new friends and no longer wanted to hang around the same group of friends we had as a couple. Those people reminded me of him and all they did was to feel sorry for me. That made me felt even more victimized and needy.”
Her cellphone rang, “I am finally letting her know ……….. see you at Zumba later.”
“And you know what? When we were together, I had to sit through every rugby match. Our dinner was steak and bbq almost every day. He just won’t try any other cuisine. Today, I have tasted and tried all sorts of cuisine more than I ever did in the last ten years.”
The lady in the oversized coat finally got a chance to speak.
“You sounded very mature and mellow ……. and look lovely, Mabel. Mum would be very proud of you. I could still remembered how worried she was when you packed your bag and went to live with Harry refusing to listen to any of us. I cannot believed you kept this from all of us till now. You are stronger than we know.”
“I was totally lost and withdrawn in that whole year but I did not want anyone to feel sorry for me. I guess I eventually realized I am an individual and I must learn to love myself even though he did not. When dickhead was with me, I spent all my life loving him and neglected myself. Being single, I can do what I want to do, turn on whichever channel on TV and dress and eat what I fancy. The list is endless, I just didn’t realized there are just so many cool things to do, Sis. I’ve got to run now, I’m keeping fit with Zumba.”
That was quite a pleasant conversation, a kind of reality check. I, too had been alone now for three years and couldn’t help but agreed with her on the independence being a single. In fact I was thinking perhaps I should start looking again but after overhearing this conversation, I may stay single for a little while longer.
I smiled and went on to read my book.