Writing 101 : Death of adverbs

Come with us

to this place

private to you

public to them

a room of many continents.

 

Most were seated, staring at their computer screen with their fingers on keyboard. Numerous cubicles, ten or more per row and there were just so many rows across the whole room maybe at least more than one hundred feet long.

It was not a busy evening so you could see some reading books or munching away chippies or chocolate bars. Yet no clique or chatters.  A big team of diligent workers.  Looking top down, you could see blonde, red, black, brown or even tints of colourful heads, all wearing headphones. The skin tones in this room were a complete mix of black, brown and white.  English was the spoken language but it was amazing that you not only heard local Kiwi or neigbouring Aussie.  You might have thought you were calling America , Phillipines , India , South East Asia or maybe one of the Pacific islands of Tonga or Samoa.  The room was a true diversification of all nationalities made up of people of all colours, shapes and sizes. Some tall and lanky, others of average built and many plus sizes.

The wall was decorated with many posters, flatscreen televisions and colorful slogan “Come with Us”.  No one said “hello” over their mouthpieces but walking around the room, you could see words of “hello” in different languages displayed in many colors.  I would have thought “hello” is a word to be spoken not written.

“Come with us.”

I know I did not kill all the adverbs.  Please help me reword and kill them all.

 

hello

 

 

via Writing 101: Death to adverbs

Go to a local café, park, or public place and report on what you see.  Get detailed: leave no nuance behind.

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