Below or under

What immediately come into your mind if you were asked to ponder on what topic to write or talk about with the world BELOW.

With me as someone who promoted the HBO TV Series working in that line (though I didn’t follow it then and still haven’t watched it now) BELOW just made me think immediately of ‘6 feet under’.

Funnily enough, the series was titled ‘6 feet UNDER‘ and not BELOW. Either way, they mean the same thing to me. I probably thought of this immediately as I went through the most terrible and saddest year ever 2019 losing three loved ones from Dec 2018 to Oct 2019.  One good thing about it is they are no longer suffering but are angels in heaven (I want to believe that).

In happier times, I would probably be writing about 42 below.

If you’re from New Zealand, you will know and if not, that’s really pure vodka from New Zealand.

If you had been good during lockdown, do enjoy a sip of 42BELOW.


Is there a God?

I was brought up in a Buddhist family that practice ancestors worship, prayed in temples and set up altars during Chinese New Year to pray to the Kitchen God or Moon cake festival to pray to the Moon.

Neil Armstrong landed on the moon on July 20, 1969.  I was seven years old and as far as I remembered, we continued to ‘worshipped’ the moon till I was in my early teens.

I studied in a mission school and became a Christian (Anglican) against my family’s wishes. I was devoted then, memorized many verses in the bible. Growing up, life was good. As a teenager, I cried to my God and shared with Him my puppy loves. Nothing major happened.  My grandmother and then my uncle died. I was sad but I just accepted that old people die and that was what the song said

‘This world is not my home, I’m just passing through’.

When I was an adult, married with three children, life was still good. My children’s father and myself were divorced, not because of a third party. It was because we both put our career first and drifted apart. When that happened, I fell in love with a married man. I would have given my life to him as I never knew what love was until I met this man. He was a coward.  In times like those, there was still a God I cried to.  I moved on and migrated to another country.

In the midst of loneliness, God was still around. I overcame loneliness by doing things on my own and became such a strong and confident woman.

We were happy but 2019 was a turning point for me and then my whole family.  I was made redundant in July followed by a few bad events. The big blow was my middle daughter got sick in September and died in October. I prayed like I never prayed before and yet God still took her.

She passed away so suddenly and peacefully.  Today, as we are on our day two of lockdown from Covid19, I miss my daughter more than ever.  I am beginning to reflect and think.

Why did God allow my daughter to be sick?
Why did God allow her to die so young?

As we always say that everything happens for a reason.  The saying is easy but understanding this statement is so hard indeed.

As I ponder, reflect and think, I still do not know if there is a God up there. I want to think of my daughter as an angel in heaven but if there is no God, is there a place we call heaven?

“Dear God, please be real, be here for me and for the world fighting Covid19.
Let our loved ones who died live as beautiful angels in heaven. 
Castaway Covid19, take away our anxieties and bring back our happiness. 
We know You can do this because You care for us and You will protect us.  Amen”


God has a reason for allowing things to happen. We may never ...

Photo a Day – Leaves

Fall, leaves, fall

Fall, leaves, fall; die, flowers, away;
Lengthen night and shorten day;
Every leaf speaks bliss to me
Fluttering from the autumn tree.
I shall smile when wreaths of snow
Blossom where the rose should grow;
I shall sing when night’s decay
Ushers in a drearier day.


via citySonnet’s October 11 Photo a day challenge – Leaves

What is DNA?

I thought I will blog a summary of what DNA is about in layman’s term.

Being an avid follower of Korean drama series, most storylines are about children growing up in orphanage and parents wanting to find their lost child through DNA tests.

Most plots would have episodes of someone trying to steal a toothbrush or a strand of hair or a mug or cup that the child drank from and sent to the lab and then waited impatiently for the DNA test result.

The suspense and the thrill is to scroll down to the bottom of the test report to see if there is a probability of 99.8999% that Ms XXX and Mr XXXX are biologically father and child.

Below is a sample of a DNA Test Report.

PaternityDuoInclusionWhat exactly is DNA?

Deoxyribonucleic acid or DNA is a molecule that contains the instructions an organism needs to develop, live and reproduce. These instructions are found inside every cell, and are passed down from parents to their children.

Similar to the way the order of letters in the alphabet can be used to form a word, the order of nitrogen bases in a DNA sequence forms genes, which in the language of the cell.

DNA is in each cell in the organism and tells cells what proteins to make. Mostly, these proteins are enzymes. DNA is inherited by children from their parents. This is why children share traits with their parents, such as skin, hair and eye color.

Well, I am still confused about DNA but nevertheless, there is nothing vague about inheritance of genes from parents.

Simply explained, the DNA in a person is a combination of the DNA from each of their parents.




Life strategy – Know yourself

Life is full of surprises, some good, some bad.

As a child, you learn and observe in a totally dependable relationship.

As you grow older, you start to have your own mind over things.

You develop as an individual.

Some grow up and live by chance while others live by choice.

You can either be the pilot of your own life or you let other people or situations take control.

In good times, it is sweet to go with the flow.

In bad times, when you have no strategy, no plans, no directions, life is a mess.

Knowing who you are and knowing what you want out of life gets you out of the rut.

Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is enlightenment.

– Lao Tzu



be yourself



A demon and an angel


She has been battling depression for over a decade.
No one other than her doctor knows of her sickness.
She suffers emotional loneliness and agony, not so much physical pain.

Wearing an invisible veil, she walks around with a smile on her face.
Day in and day out.

In dark hours, she did things intentionally to harm herself.
Going to a bar and drink till she was no longer sober
Feeding the slot machines when she no longer see the value of money.

Suffering insomnia too …………….
One night, she did something she had never ever done before.
She physically destroyed her dearest possession to punish herself.

Life goes on.
Often you see her smile, she hardly cries.
Day in and day out.

She knows she is a demon when inside the window.
Outside the window, many see her as an angel.


This story is in the present tense as our demon and angel is battling within to find herself.

Ooouch !

Ooouch !

It’s so prickly.

It’s so thorny.

A relationship where you seem to be walking on glass …………….

looks beautiful on the outside ………….

but thorny on the inside …………

Like roses, beware of the thorns.


Love is not always a bed of roses.

You get pricked and you bleed but you heal again.