Life strategy – Know yourself

Life is full of surprises, some good, some bad.

As a child, you learn and observe in a totally dependable relationship.

As you grow older, you start to have your own mind over things.

You develop as an individual.

Some grow up and live by chance while others live by choice.

You can either be the pilot of your own life or you let other people or situations take control.

In good times, it is sweet to go with the flow.

In bad times, when you have no strategy, no plans, no directions, life is a mess.

Knowing who you are and knowing what you want out of life gets you out of the rut.

Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is enlightenment.

– Lao Tzu



be yourself




A demon and an angel


She has been battling depression for over a decade.
No one other than her doctor knows of her sickness.
She suffers emotional loneliness and agony, not so much physical pain.

Wearing an invisible veil, she walks around with a smile on her face.
Day in and day out.

In dark hours, she did things intentionally to harm herself.
Going to a bar and drink till she was no longer sober
Feeding the slot machines when she no longer see the value of money.

Suffering insomnia too …………….
One night, she did something she had never ever done before.
She physically destroyed her dearest possession to punish herself.

Life goes on.
Often you see her smile, she hardly cries.
Day in and day out.

She knows she is a demon when inside the window.
Outside the window, many see her as an angel.


This story is in the present tense as our demon and angel is battling within to find herself.

Ooouch !

Ooouch !

It’s so prickly.

It’s so thorny.

A relationship where you seem to be walking on glass …………….

looks beautiful on the outside ………….

but thorny on the inside …………

Like roses, beware of the thorns.


Love is not always a bed of roses.

You get pricked and you bleed but you heal again.

Love or Lust

Lust is a strong emotion or feeling.  The lust can take any form such as the lust for sex, lust for expensive objects (extravagance) or the lust for power. It can take such mundane forms as the lust for food as distinct from the need for food.  Lust is a psychological force producing intense wanting for an object, or circumstance fulfilling the emotion.

Lust has as its focus pleasing oneself, and it often leads to unwholesome actions to fulfill one’s desires with no regard to the consequences.  Lust is about possession and greed.

Lust is a desire that is inappropriately strong, therefore being morally wrong.  The feeling can be so extreme that it will lead you to betray and hurt those around you.  It can also destroy your life.

Therefore, live to love and be loved.

Lust not but treasure what you have.

If you do not have (a woman or the desired possession) anything or anyone to love,  then work on self improvement to find love and work towards a goal for success.

The only thing you can lust for is FOOD and you will sin not !


Night eating disorder

Are you or do you know anyone who is into repetitive night time eating even though he or she is not hungry?

I know of a close one who raided the pantry for snacks at night and more lately into full meals like leftovers or instant noodles.

Perhaps this is due to the fact that (let’s call this person S) S suffers from insomnia and depression.  S is a beautiful and kind person.  Unless you are close friends with S, you would not have guessed what goes on in S’s life.

This bothers me and I did a little research and found that S has SRED.

SRED as savage as it sounds is more than binge eating.

It is also important to distinguish between sleep-related eating disorder, (SRED) a disorder which has received a significant amount of media attention, and night eating syndrome. People with SRED eat while sleepwalking, or while in a twilight state between sleep and being awake. People with SRED are not aware of what they’re doing, and often they may wake up to discover dishes or food  in their bed, and have no memory of eating at all. A high percentage of these patients typically use prescription sleeping medications.  By contrast, those with night eating syndrome are fully awake and aware of what they are consuming–with no memory deficits or lack of recall for their nightly eating rituals.

One theory is that night eating syndrome involves a disruption in the hormones that regulate sleep, appetite, and mood–specifically, an alteration or disruption in the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis.  It is possible that night eating syndrome may be a form of “self-medication”, since a large proportion of snacking late at night generally involves carbohydrate-rich or “comfort” type foods.

S is conscious to his/her eating disorder but S makes no effort to dieting or healthy eating.  S told me that food is his/her source of comfort and is something he/she looks forward to every night.  S uses food to combat his/her feeling of loneliness, depression or other negativity in his/her life which seems to appear only at night.  In the day time, S goes to work like everyone else and S is friendly and seems to be surrounded by friends (or acquaintances).

I see S as a beautiful person, his/her regular eating during meal times is gentle (no over eating) yet S’s SRED in the dread of the night is a concern that other people do not know about.  Only S and others in the same household can see the other side of S.  S may be crying out for help but is help available to someone who has depression, someone who pops sleeping pills nightly to get a good night’s sleep and someone who has SRED (Sleep-related Eating Disorder) ?

Are you really what you eat?

If the notion that to be fit and healthy you need to eat good food, then perhaps S can feed his/her SRED with brain food.

We need different foods at certain times of our lives – for example, a pre-schooler and an elderly woman have vastly different food requirements because the youngster is growing and very active, while the ageing process causes us to slow down.

If you really have to snack, snack it right !


Let’s pray that S and those in the same situation will overcome their eating disorder.


Depression & Gambling


So notorious.

Depression and gambling (or gambling and depression) go hand-in-hand.

Like kleptomaniacs who steal items not for monetary gain, addicted pokie (slot) machine players gamble not to win but to feed the machines.  They no longer see the value of money and every piece of twenty (fifty or hundred) dollar note is like a piece of paper going through the shredder.  They would play until they lost every cent and come out of the local pub or casino feeling emotionless and penniless.

For many gamblers the brain can enter a trance-like state while gambling, and so the everyday problems of life recede.

“People gamble to escape bad relationships, or work pressures — a range of perceived problems, but some are obviously gambling in an attempt to escape from the sadness, anxiety and other troubling thoughts that are the symptoms of a mental illness,”

Quote – Professor Shane Tomas, Problem Gambling Research and Treatment Centre 

Problem Gambling Foundation of New Zealand has the below definition of gambling.

Problem gambling refers to gambling that significantly interferes with a person’s life, especially with their finances, their job, and their relationships with partner, family, and friends.

Pathological gambling is the most severe form and is classified as a mental disorder similar to drug abuse. It includes features of tolerance, withdrawal, diminished control, and relinquishing of important activities.

At-risk gambling refers to a level of gambling that is not currently causing significant financial or emotional harm to the gambler, but is likely to become problem gambling if it continues.

Affected others are people who are harmed by someone else’s gambling— usually partners, family, whanau, and friends. This can take many forms, such as financial repercussions for the whole family, unhappy home life, alienation from family and friends, and crimes committed against employers or other people.

Pokie machines are designed to make money and make you forget the outside world. They use dark backgrounds and deep but bright colours to attract and stimulate your brain. They use sound and light at random times to disorient you and trigger the near- miss effect to get you hooked.  When you get a win (free spins), the cheerful background music makes you excited and you lost track of time.

Did you know?

  • When a pokie machine gives a false impression that you “almost won” it will trigger the same areas in your brain as if you had really won. These are also the same areas which are involved in drug addiction!
  • No matter what you do to a pokie machine, you cannot change what it is programmed to do. A pokie machine is a computer designed to take in more money than it pays out; there is no skill or trick to cheat it.

“The paradox with gambling is that if you win, you lose. If you lose, you lose. If you win, the high consumes your mind until you’re back in action.  If you lose, you crash and chase your losses to regain that high.”

– quote unknown

Some people regard gambling or playing the pokies as a form of entertainment.  This is so only if one goes to the machine with a limit.  For problem or pathological gamblers, when gambling becomes a financial or emotional harm to them or those around them,  the act is no longer a harmless leisure pursuit.  It is a pain and addiction that is difficult to stop.

Know the signs and seek help.


Let’s hope these symptoms are only evanescent. May they melt away as quickly as they come.